Friday, January 4, 2013

The One with The Rainbow Bridge







As many of you know, our Sweet Cali Bear was called to the bridge suddenly yesterday. My whole pack wants to thank you for your messages and emails.

We are all heart broken. Mom's been having a little trouble keeping feelings of guilt at bay so I've been sticking even closer to her than usual. That means I'm pretty much in her pocket.

After the lymphoma diagnosis at the end of November, we all knew that we were likely looking at only 8-12 months but mom can't help but feel like she cut that short by not being more aggressive. There are lots of what ifs as she looks back on the last three days.

Up until that point, Cali had been her happy, smiley self. You wouldn't know she was battling the most aggressive lymphoma that her vet had ever seen.

New Years Day brought some changes. Her nodes were larger than ever, despite the strongest treatment in the protocol, and her little face started to swell. She was seen on Wednesday and referred to a full time oncologist.

Her appointment was to be this morning (the "first available") but when Wednesday night was especially bad and Thursday morning her labored breathing became gasps for breath, mom rushed her to emergency clinic. Cali walked in on her own and even wagged her tail, excited to meet new people, as always. Her body was not well but our sweet girl was still there.

The prognosis was shaky but there were still things to try. Oxygen helped her breathing. And a treatment plan was in place. The details of the three hours she was there are not clear yet but we were told she went into cardiac arrest after the treatment, either from not being able to tolerate the drug in her weakened state or that her heart couldn't handle the toxicity of so many cancer cells shedding at once. CPR was unsuccessful.

We all really thought she would be coming home again so we didn't say goodbye like we should have. I know she's watching over us and understands but...

I know mom has also been wishing she gave her more one on one time. And hoping Cali knows she loves her just as much as she loves us... needier pups.

Sweet Cali was met at the bridge by Ginger.


Cali
8/18/2001 - 1/3/2013
Thank you for teaching us to live our dash.
We love you.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPaw!

43 comments:

  1. Oh we're all so very sorry. Our Mom loved Cali because she looked so much like our Tsar. Maybe the two of them are hanging together at the bridge. They'd make a beautiful couple.
    Morgan, Sebastian and the Porties

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  2. We are so very sorry to hear of Cali's crossing! Our hearts go out to you during this sad time.

    Bunny

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  3. OH Zona....PLEASE don't let your mom feel bad. This way there was no Sickness from the treatments...
    It is NEVER about the QUANTITY of time it is the QUALITY... And months of feeling SICKIE would not have been what Cali would have wanted.
    We all know how much Cali was LOVED and cared for. THAT is what SHE KNEW also.
    Run FREE and FAST Cali, until we meet again.

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  4. Oh sweet Zona Girl, I am so very sorry. I guarantee Cali knew exactly how much she was loved and I think she just knew it was time to go. Please tell your Mompeep that Cali understands everything and is watching over all of you from the bridge. Tons of loving vibes from my whole pack to your whole pack.
    Grr and a Mournful Woof,
    Sarge, Boyfuriend
    and his peeps.

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  5. Our hearts is hurtin fur yoo n yor famly Zona, wee nose da pain yoo is goin frew pleese nose yoo is in our forts n our prayers ats dis diffikults time fur yoo all. As soon as our weather improves wee is gonna sends up a lantern to da bridge fur all ovs our furiends hoo has crossed dis last year nose wee is finkin ovs dem.
    Wee nose wee is a long ways away utts wee is always ere fur yoo alls, pleese givs yor Mom snuggles froms all ovs us n licks too
    Wivs much lovs
    Uji, Izzy, Ziggy, Missi, Hiro & Da Pawrents
    xxxx

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  6. So sorry to hear about Cali...how sad. We know that Cali knew just how much you all loved her! So glad she got to spend one last Christmas with you all, though.

    Elyse and Riley

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  7. Oh, I am so sorry to hear abouts Cali. I didn't know Cali, butts Pip let me know that you lost your dear gurl ~ My heart breaks for you. I am really glads that the evil 'C' waited until after the holidays. Sending you {{{hugs}}}} and AireZens.

    Kisses,
    Ruby

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  8. We are so sorry that Cali is gone, we didn't know her but we always miss one off our own. Just remember that she is at the Bridge, with no pain and running free, just having fun and waiting for her furiends to come join her!

    Your sad furiends
    Susie & Bites

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  9. So sorry that Cali has gone to the bridge, we are sending love and (((hugs))) across the pond, as we know how much you are all hurting.
    George and Tess xxx

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  10. So sorry about beautiful Cali. What a sweet face! She knew she was loved so don't let your mamma be mad at herself.

    Love and hugs from The Heartbeats

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  11. Soft husky woooos,

    RA, Isis & Nanük

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  12. We are so sorry to hear about your loss. We read it on our friend Pip's page What a beautiful dog you were and we are so glad that you had a good life with your family

    urban hounds

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  13. I'm here 'cause i read it on Pip's blog.
    So sorry for your loss.
    A lot of hugs to your family.
    Woof, woof,

    Chicco

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  14. We just came from Pip's blog. We are so very sorry to hear about Cali. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

    Love ya lots,
    Mitch and Molly

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  15. Again, we're so sorry. But please tell your Mom not to blame herself. Cali was needed at the Bridge for a special job and she was more than happy to answer that call. Her spirit will always remain with you as she watches over all those who loved her.

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  16. OH My Vickie understands how your mom can feel guilty, because when Jamie passed a few months ago she fetl guilty about all the same things.

    But I am a dog and I told her NOT to feel guilty. You humans do the best you can and we know it and we don't feel bad about anything. WE are just greatful that we got to spend our time with you.

    Love
    Bert

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  17. She knows all of you did their best -

    But sometimes it is still not meant to be -
    despite the painful parting on both ends -

    And remember, it's not forever...it's just...for now -

    Hugz&Khysses,
    Khyra and Her Mom
    P.S. NOW, go get one of those human puppygirl smiles - they heal everything!

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  18. I'm so sorry for your loss. I read about it last night on facebook and posted about it on my blog.

    Please don't feel guilty. You did all you could for Cali and I know she knew how very much you love her. I will light a candle for her and for you.

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  19. We're so very sorry that Cali has crossed the Bridge. We can tell she was greatly loved and will be greatly missed. And we're sure she knows how much you and your mom and her whole family loves her. Stay with your mom and don't let her beat herself up for not being able to predict the future. We know she did her very best for Cali, and Cali knows it, too. Now she's reunited with Ginger and we know she's surrounded by love there, just as she was - and still is - here.

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  20. We are so very sorry to hear that Cali has crossed over the bridge. We are sure that our Zippo was there to meet her. May she rest in peace.

    xoxo Chloe and LadyBug (stopping by from Pip's Blog)

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  21. My heart is breaking for you all. Please have no regrets, Cali knew she was loved enormously. Dogs feel love like no human.
    I am so grateful to have known Cali. May she rest in peace now.
    We are sendin; you all our thoughts and prayers.

    Puddles and family

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  22. We are so sorry. Run with the wind Cali.

    Love Ruby & Penny

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  23. Mom and I came over from Mr.Pip's to say how sorry we are to read oc Sweet Cali's passing. What a beautiful lady
    Hugs and purrs
    Madi and mom

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  24. Don't ever have doubts - you were wonderful to her and she was loved. We are sending hugs and love.

    Sam

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  25. I bow my head to Cali's passing, and tonight, when the stars are shining bright, I shall raise it up to search for the newest, most beautiful star gracing the heavens.

    Miss Fendi HoneyBuzz

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  26. Rest in peace sweet girl

    Stop on by for a visit
    Kari
    http://dogisgodinreverse.com

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  27. All of us here at Lovable Lily are so sorry to hear about your sweet Cali girl. We are keeping you close in our thoughts and prayers. Remember your girl with much love in your hearts, as that is how Cali will remember you.

    Lie down now Cali and rest with the Angels...

    Hugs,
    Lily Belle & Muffin

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  28. I am so, so sorry to read about your loss of your beautiful girl Cali. I know the ache your heart is feeling and I know the guilt that fills you at times too. It all reminds me of our very first Golden (the first Tod) who also had lymphoma and passed during the night. We also didn't get to say good-bye, but I have felt since then that sometimes these special pups like your girl Cali and our Tod decide on their own that it was time to go and spare us having to make the hardest of decisions to let them go. I hope you are finding comfort in your memories that can never be taken away, and in knowing that you will see your precious girl again one day. And what a day that will be.

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  29. We apologize for not coming around. Sallie has been sick but she sends her love, as do I.

    (((((((((((((((Big Hug))))))))))))

    Yours,

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  30. We too came from Pip's blog. We're sorry for the loss of your believed Cali. She wouldn't want you to feel guilty. You gave her love while she was with you, which is what is most important. Hugs, purrs and pawtaps.

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  31. We came over from Mr Pip's blog where we saw that Cali had gone to the bridge. Our thoughts and prayers are with your family. She is now with all our friends having a great time and wouldn't want you to feel quilty about anything.

    God Bless.....Mona, Weenuie & thr Mommy

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  32. I just saw this on MrPip's bloggie
    my heawt is bwoken fow you. Callie had love and cawe and all she could desiwe by being pawt of youw family. Wun fwee sweet Cali...you will be missed
    till we meet at the bwidge I send my smoochie kisses
    Asta

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  33. We hopped over from Pip's blog. So sorry to read about your beautiful girl's passing. Sending purrs of comfort and gentle headbumpies from all of us at Prancer Pie.

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  34. So sorry to hear this sad news on Mr Pip's blog. had to come and give you my condolences.

    So many things strike chords with me about how we lost Winnie a week before Christmas. She was so brave when she went to the vets - even though she'd been so sick all night. Like you we had no idea we'd never see her alive again.

    But you MUST believe she KNEW she was loved. Of course she did. And you MUST NOT try and find things to blame yourself for. She loved you very much and knows you did your best for her.

    I hope you start to heal soon and are comforted a little by knowing that you are in the thoughts of so many people who do understand what you are going through.

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  35. Oh, no! We just saw this and our hearts are breaking in two for you all. Cali was a Most Precious soul and we know she is missed something awful. And I'm so sorry your momma feels guilty but she didn't do anything wrong. I think maybe Cali just felt like it was time to go to the Bridge and see Ginger again. Please, please know that Cali knew how much she was loved and treasured. She was so very lucky to have been a part of your family. We know your heart hurts so much right now and we are sending you lots of luv, hugs and brindle kisses.

    Gentle wiggles & wags,
    Mayzie

    Mayzie (and mom)

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  36. We are so sorry to hear this. Our dog Shark died of after he seized and we weren't there to be with him in his last hours. The doctor said he had a positive prognosis but they were wrong. They called us 4 hours after he died which were devastated of... why so long.

    Be strong. We dropped by after hearing the news from Pip and are hoping you guys are okay.

    Huggies and Cheese,

    Haopee of my dogs love me

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  37. We is so very sorry to hear dis news. We is holdin' all of you close to our hearts. RIP sweet Cali.

    Blessings and Love,
    Maggie Mae, Max and mom

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  38. That's a great post - thanks for sharing.

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