As many of you know, our Sweet Cali Bear was called to the bridge suddenly yesterday. My whole pack wants to thank you for your messages and emails.
We are all heart broken. Mom's been having a little trouble keeping feelings of guilt at bay so I've been sticking even closer to her than usual. That means I'm pretty much in her pocket.
After the lymphoma diagnosis at the end of November, we all knew that we were likely looking at only 8-12 months but mom can't help but feel like she cut that short by not being more aggressive. There are lots of what ifs as she looks back on the last three days.
Up until that point, Cali had been her happy, smiley self. You wouldn't know she was battling the most aggressive lymphoma that her vet had ever seen.
New Years Day brought some changes. Her nodes were larger than ever, despite the strongest treatment in the protocol, and her little face started to swell. She was seen on Wednesday and referred to a full time oncologist.
Her appointment was to be this morning (the "first available") but when Wednesday night was especially bad and Thursday morning her labored breathing became gasps for breath, mom rushed her to emergency clinic. Cali walked in on her own and even wagged her tail, excited to meet new people, as always. Her body was not well but our sweet girl was still there.
The prognosis was shaky but there were still things to try. Oxygen helped her breathing. And a treatment plan was in place. The details of the three hours she was there are not clear yet but we were told she went into cardiac arrest after the treatment, either from not being able to tolerate the drug in her weakened state or that her heart couldn't handle the toxicity of so many cancer cells shedding at once. CPR was unsuccessful.
We all really thought she would be coming home again so we didn't say goodbye like we should have. I know she's watching over us and understands but...
I know mom has also been wishing she gave her more one on one time. And hoping Cali knows she loves her just as much as she loves us... needier pups.
Sweet Cali was met at the bridge by Ginger.
8/18/2001 - 1/3/2013
Thank you for teaching us to live our dash.
We love you.
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