Sunday, June 7, 2009

The One with The Amazing Zona

My mom confuses me sometimes. For instance, yesterday she went into town just to have her face professionally washed. Now my mom has been known to get her hands dirty but so dirty she requires professionally cleaning? Do they use a power washer? Dry cleaning chemicals? A walk through system like a car would need? Regardless of the method, she came home looking exactly the same to me! I suspect papa could have dunked her in the pool a few times for FREE. In fact papa would have probably offered to pay her for that experience - like a dunking booth! Then she'd have been able to spend that money on bags of Greenies. Oh well. It makes her happy. I, on the other hand, would never pay to be washed.

Something else confuses me about mom. She knows I hate the answering machine. She knows I've never answered the phone. Yet today, she left for the grocery store (yes, mom left the house TWO days in a row) and shortly after she left the phone began to ring and ring. The answering machine picked up so I sang my usual song alerting callers that no one is home and I realized it's my mom! "Zona. Stop howling. Zona? I know you're listening. Do me a favor.. on the table I put my grocery list. You saw me put it down before I grabbed the keys. Remember? I got the keys and went back to the table, while you were whining for me to stay, and I picked up my purse and then my phone. I then turned to leave and must have forgot the list as I always do. That list is the reason I left the house in the first place. Can you read it to me? :: silence :: Zona? Zona, I know you're upset that I left. If you read me the list, I'll be back a lot faster. :: silence :: Zona? ZONA!!! :: mumbling under her breath:: :: silence::" Then she hung up. Now I know I'm remarkable but I can't do everything for the two-leggers or they'll never learn!

Another example of confusing behavior, the two-leggers have a gate at the steps so we don't go downstairs when we're not supposed to. Usually if mom is carrying stuff in and out of the garage (we're not allowed in the garage!) or if they are out on the town. Mom forgets that I, unlike my sisters, know how to open said gate. Still, she's surprised when I show up in the garage with her. Every time. Silly two-legger. It's fun to surprise her though - she gasps and clutches her chest!

Kind of reminds me of the story papa tells about the time he was driving over a drawbridge and--- well, mom said she'll take away my blogging privileges indefinitley if I tell that story so you'll have to use your imagination and remember how easily mom scares! Or you can ask papa. Once again The Amazing Zona gets around mom's "RULES."

PS - Mom's closet update: still on the to do list - untouched.

Mom just said I'm walking on thin ice today. I think that's a compliment. Jesus walked on water so I'm just a few degrees on the thermometer away from that, right?

She laughed and said I'm incorrigible just like my papa and gave me a hug. All is forgiven. Time for a walk and some sun in the yard! Yay! Then maybe I'll help her tackle that closet. Or not!

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